Being a mother is the most challenging and rewarding job I have ever had. My dear friend, Lizzie, and I used to sit around talking about how we couldn't wait to just be stay at home moms. We were in our late 20s and thought that the 8-5 grind was all our future would hold. Fast forward to 10 years later in our late 30s. We are both stay at home moms with two little ones that are active, busy, messy, and we are responsible for them 24/7.
I remember when my son was born, that overwhelming feeling of love. I remember kissing his fat cheeks and fat toes every day. I sang to him, rocked him to sleep, danced with him, and made him giggle. Then I did it all over again with my baby girl. When we hit the terrible twos I thought I would go crazy. The threes were almost worse, and then the fearsome fours took over. It was about then that I realized that there will never be an "easy year" of parenting. Because these little ones in my life are people with their own personalities, likes and dislikes, and opinions.
This week my son started First Grade, which means he is now going to all day school. He is gone from me almost eight hours a day, and when he leaves I miss him, but I am also grateful that he is gone all day staying occupied. I am grateful that he is facing challenges and learning how to get through them. I am grateful that he goes to a school that I love so much and helped to start. I am sad that after lunch I don't get to kiss his cheeks and I never want to kiss his toes anymore because they are stinky almost 7 year old boy toes. It has made me realize that I only have two more years with my baby girl before she is gone from me eight hours a day as well.
So I kiss her more, talk to her more, love her more, and those four hours a day now that I have influence on my son are the four hours of the day that I am trying to make my best four hours. Where I am the best mom I can be to him because the other eight hours he doesn't see me. I want him to still want to be with me and want to come home.
It makes me think of how God feels. He sends us off to Earth to be taught a whole bunch of garbage that neither encourages or uplifts. He watches us as we go through pain and sorrow and make dumb choices. He still loves us, though. He wants us to be happy, and wants us to still want to be with Him and someday come home. I hope this week I learn a little bit more about how God wants me to parent these two little ones. Especially because if there is anyone that knows them better than me, it is Him.