The past couple of months have been hard. The kind of hard that when you wake up in the morning your heart sinks because of reality. The hardest part is that it isn't my reality that has been hard. It's that I have had a lot of friends going through hard stuff, and my Savior complex has kicked in big time. So I naturally turned to my friend, Marie, who last year spent several hour changing my beliefs about some other hard stuff. Friends with gifts are amazing. That's all I can say about that. Especially when they are gifts that elude me.
After more than an hour of talking with Marie, I was able to shift my thinking, let stuff go, and change how I saw all of these problems going on. It's like going to a therapist except it's speed therapy, and gets me past stuff way faster than 3-5 hour log sit-on-the-couch sessions.
Today I am grateful for many things, and trying to be grateful for the smaller things. Especially things like parking karma and $1 off on gas because of my grocery card. I'm mostly grateful for the eyes to see how the Lord manages pieces of my life so that I learn and grow and have the experiences that I am supposed to have. Out of that has come a clarity about other areas of my life that needed to be...clarified.
1. Giving up my Savior complex. I am a fixer and when friends bring me their stuff, I try to fix it. Then I take it personally when they don't use the tools I give them. Ha! I realized that this is going to apply to the health challenge, because no matter what tools I give people, it is up to them to use it. I can't "save" their health any more than I can save them from the experiences that are theirs to have.
2. Recognizing Guardian Angels. The truth is, when I have gone through difficult, teaching experiences in my life, people have been put in place as a soft place to land. Even when they didn't know that was their role. I think there are guardian angels both seen and unseen. I'm grateful for all for all of them. Even the ones I haven't seen for 20 years.
3. Prayer works. Sometimes it takes a while for the answer to come, and sometimes it is immediate. In the past few days I have had immediate answers. It helps me to recognize when the answers are delayed. I'm grateful for both. If I can testify of nothing else it is that there is a God and a Savior and both are very real and very involved in my life. They can be in yours if you let them. You get to choose.
4. Choices aren't always black and white. I am a black and white thinker who tries to mingle in shades of grey, mostly unsuccessfully. The ability to let go is something I need to learn to have greater compassion for others.